ever had a feeling you cant describe? not a good or bad feeling. its both, and its each of them and it holds all your secrets and insecurites in one and grasp its long bony fingers around them all and squeezes and then its friendly and makes you think all is good, and maybe it is but then it loosens its grip and one escapes and you realise it has full control over you. and so it just sits there inside of you. and it doesnt even feel evil. it just becomes another part of your heart, and it grows and shrinks and sooner or later it dissappears if you put enough effort into hiding it. but its always just there. and sometimes its comfort. its the one that gives you a reason to live. or holds you close in the middle of the night when your scared or just want it all to end. and you’re thankfull to it because its there and then you feel pathetic but happy and eventually you just learn to accept it. like you learn to accept everything else. untill it starts to grow again you you start thinking about it.
